Best man speech: [Groom] and [Partner]

A wedding marquee glowing at night in a field under strings of lights

The brief

Time you have

You speak

Other speakers

Off-limits

Names to get right

Thanks given by

Story bank

Everything you remember in ten minutes, plus one each from his family and oldest friends.

Memory

What it shows about him

Use

The roast test. Tease him only about what he would happily tell on himself. A story that needs an ex, money, a hangover or “you had to be there” stays out, and so does anything his new in-laws would wince at. One story told well beats five quick references.

Time budget

For three minutes. Given longer? Spend the extra on the groom and the couple.

Part

Target

Words

Your time

1. Opening

0:20

45–50

2. The groom

1:10

150–175

3. The turn

0:30

65–75

4. The couple

0:45

100–115

5. The toast

0:15

30–40

Total

3:00

390–450

The speech

See an example (about 3 minutes)

Opening: Good evening, everyone. I'm Chris, and I've been Dan's best friend since our first week of college, when he arrived on move-in day with a labeled toolbox.

The groom: Two summers ago, six of us went camping in the Smokies. On the first night a storm came through and snapped half our tent poles. Five of us stood in the rain, swearing. Dan walked to his car, came back with a spare set of poles, a roll of duct tape and a laminated checklist, and had both tents up in twenty minutes. Then he handed out dry socks. That's Dan. He doesn't panic. He plans, and then he looks after everyone else.

The turn: Then, four years ago, Dan met Leah. He called me after their first date and said, “I didn't plan anything. We just talked for three hours.” I've known Dan for twelve years. He has never not planned anything.

The couple: Last November they hosted Thanksgiving for twelve people in a one-bedroom apartment. Leah did the cooking, Dan did the seating chart, and nobody noticed there weren't enough chairs. One of them makes it warm, the other makes it work. Leah, thank you for getting my best friend to stop planning long enough to fall in love. Welcome to the family.

The toast: Would everyone please raise a glass. To Leah and Dan: may you never need the spare poles, and always have them anyway. To Leah and Dan.

1. Opening · 0:20

Who you are, and one detail from when you met.

Good evening, everyone. I'm [name], [Groom]'s [brother / best friend].

2. The groom · 1:10

One story: the scene, what went wrong, what he did, the detail people will laugh at.

That's [Groom].

3. The turn · 0:30

How they met, and what changed in him after.

Then, [number] years ago, [Groom] met [Partner].

4. The couple · 0:45

One thing you've seen them do together, and what it says about them.

[Partner], welcome to the family.

5. The toast · 0:15

One line that calls back your story, then the toast.

Would everyone please raise a glass. To [Partner] and [Groom].

On the day

  • Timed out loud, standing, three times

  • Read once to one honest listener

  • Passes the roast test, and nothing on the couple's off-limits list

  • Everything above The speech deleted, and the rest printed on numbered cards in large type

  • Opening and toast lines known by heart

  • Partner's name and any hard names practiced aloud

  • Mic checked with the DJ or planner before guests sit down

  • A glass filled before you stand up, and the drinking saved for after